Tuesday, 1 July 2014

full of stuff

There are things we forget and sometimes it feels like life won’t stop overlapping itself; sometimes it feels like life is oozing with so much stuff.

I feel the things running through the soil like seams of gold and copper. I feel them run—electricity sprinting through circuit boards—and I hold my fingers outstretched and let the crackle leap inside my nails.

I had forgotten. I am teeth and ink and bruises. I am circuitry running in parallel and all of life happening at once.

Oh my god, so many cuties. The town crier rings their bell three times and says, “You, sweetheart, how are you going to choose?” and you shake your head and you laugh. You say, “I want everything and it all.”

And sometimes the past is a small, pinched place filled with ultimatums.

I guess to get here we had to walk through so many copses, so many paths in the woods. Links, rechts, geradeaus? I guess it doesn’t matter. Didn’t you always leave a thumb behind in the Choose Your Own Adventure pages?

It isn’t cheating. It’s just figuring things out.

Another week in this city and there are so many things I need to pack into the box of time. I forget appointments, so I tattoo them on my skin with biros. I forget to eat, so I feast on the flesh of my friends.

I am convinced there is room for everything. A is laughing on the kitchen counter. He wipes his eyes. He says we were different people, then.

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