Friday, 11 February 2011

new resolutes

The past eight months have been pitiful in terms of updates, it's true, though this isn't from lack of writing. I've been concentrating on short stories, working with a mentor, putting together a collection which started with The Cats' Gravity almost two years ago and which I plan to complete in the next few months. Then I will find someone to publish it and I will embark on a grand adventure of promotion. I will camp out in Shakespeare & Co in Paris and Atlantis Books in Santorini and slip my book onto their shelves with dedications in the covers. I will sleep in cupboards surrounded by short story collections and dream of plotlines twisting through my curls (I will, finally, get a perm). I will go to NYC and recite fiction on the L train and become a cult hero and spend many evenings in Barcade becoming an expert at Ms Pacman (if I look for myself in craigslist's Missed Connections, I will be there, often). We'll drink bourbon under the bridges like it's January 2010 all over again, except I'll have sex with fewer men and more women. Miranda July will pick up a copy of my book in some cafe-cum-bookstore in Portland and be instantly charmed. She will call me up and we will start a writing project together which will involve vintage lingerie, woolen pom poms and biros.

I know you think this is unlikely but actually I am charmed and it will probably happen. A year and a half ago I thought wouldn't it be great if someone gave me a load of money so I could quit my job and go back to New York and write stories? So the Scottish Book Trust did, they wrote a cheque for £2000 and said have fun.

They also gave me a mentor and a voice coach and many schmoozing events with free canapes. I went to one of those events last night. My mentor told a woman from the BBC that my writing was exciting, dense and sparky, full of eroticism with a hint of menace. I read a story to a room full of industry people and they projected a picture of my face eating a bagel on the wall and a quote from my story. People knew who I was because my giant face was up there, eating that bagel. The people came and said hello and we drank champagne.

I have also recently had acceptances from places which impress me, like Gutter and Foundling Review and 3:AM and I have discovered a boy who thinks it's incredibly sexy when I get things published. This is not an essential motivation for writing, but a nice thing nonetheless. When I have my book published I will dress up in stockings and lace-trimmed knickers and red high heels with bows on the toes and I will sit on a high stool with my legs crossed at the knee reciting things I have written until I am ravished.

I suspect this will not take long.

Anyway, the point in this post is that I have been a pitiful bloggette and I am going come back for a while, because I like writing things that do not need to be perfect and complete. Trying for everyday updates for the rest of February, because if we can get through that it will be March again, and springtime. Yum!

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